George Beinhorn
240 Monroe Drive #222
Mountain View, CA 94040
(650) 209-8017

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Education
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B.A., M.A., Stanford University, German Studies. Minors: Mathematics, Spanish

Honors: Ford Foundation Fellowship for six months’ study at University of Hamburg, Germany and graduate work at Stanford

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Work History
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1996 – Present. Editor, Writer. Clients in technology, business, academia, and publishing.

1976 – 1996. Editor, Writer. Clients in publishing (magazine editor; authored six books on popular PC software; Contributing Editor for PC World, PC Computing).

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Skills
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Advanced written and verbal communication skills.

Software: Word, Excel, Outlook, PowerPoint, Access, Acrobat, FileMaker Pro, FrontPage, Dreamweaver, Photoshop, PageMaker, Indesign, OpenOffice, Linux, Windows XP/Vista.

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Personal
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Positive energy, strong service attitudes, clear focus. Independent, proactive, creative. Exceptional health, high energy, cheerful, cooperative, supportive of co-workers.

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Additional Services
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Full-charge production of newsletters, brochures, and other hardcopy materials, including author contact, editing, design, layout, printing and mailing, and photography.

Professional skills in photography for products, portraits, events, locations, sports, and nature, digital or film.

Professional translation from German to English.

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Other Relevant Experience
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Macmillan Computer Publishing. Author, six book-length software instruction and reference guides. (E.g., The Microsoft Word Upgrade Guide, commissioned by Egghead Software.) Author, editor, technical editor, chapter author for major collaborative application guides-e.g., Microsoft Word, WordPerfect, etc..

Author, 300+ magazine and newspaper articles; Contributing Editor, PC/Computing and PC World magazines.

Editor, Bike World magazine, Assistant Editor, Runner’s World magazine. Edited and wrote books and articles on sports physiology, training, medicine, and news; translated books and articles from German to English.

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ALL MEDIA
Digital audio (MP3, WAV, etc.), standard cassette, micro-cassette. (Sorry, no video tapes.)

RATES
$30 per hour. Example: $90 to transcribe 60 minutes of normal-paced clear speech, slightly higher for poor-quality audio due to ambient noise, multiple speakers, etc.

CALL NOW for a free estimate: (650) 209-8017. Or email.

The owner was an amazing man. A cheerful, broad-chested Latin-American in his late forties, he was the very soul of service. He treated everyone equally well – not only the higher-ups who signed his checks, but everyone he came in contact with. Every one of his personal encounters, however brief, sent a powerful marketing message. It left us all with the happy thought: “If this guy has fair prices and does a good job, I would hire him in a heartbeat!“

His smile had no on/off switch. He wasn’t friendly merely on principle, in order to increase his business. His service attitude wasn’t a soulless CRM sales machine. It was always turned on, its light shining equally for everyone.

Although he knew that I had no authority to give him work, on the days when he rewired my office he was friendly, respectful, and cheerful. It was clear that he loved his job, because he loved service.

Notice the difference: he didn’t merely deliver service – he loved it. He had discovered the built-in joys of helping, and he was an enthusiastic player in the game.

That’s a magic thing about service when it comes from the heart: the more you give, the more you receive back inwardly. (And, let it not be forgotten, outwardly, too.)

I knew he would never lack for clients, because people love being in the presence of people who radiate expansive attitudes. He delivered all the basics his clients expected: on-time delivery, quality work, a fair price, etc. But he also made people feel that they mattered, and that he genuinely liked helping them – and it was a huge differentiator.

This was only months after the 2001 tech crash and 9/11. Yet I knew he was running his business in the way that promised the highest odds of survival. What if the economy dived into a contractive phase and his clients suddenly became tight-fisted and fearful? When they needed IT services, they would unfailingly continue to call him first, because he radiated hope.

In 2009, I believe it’s more important than ever for your website and other marketing documents to include the dimension of expansive feeling. Until now, most tech companies have found success by spouting the external advantages: “We’ve been in business 20 years, we have 400 satisfied clients, our technicians have 100 years of experience, we’re experts in X, Y, Z technologies, we’ll help you run your business more efficiently, we’ll save you money….”

All perfectly valid and good – you do need to say these things. The trouble is, in IT especially, most companies have reached a similar level of expertise and service, and they’re all saying essentially the same thing in their advertising. And today, with fewer paying clients, you must find a differentiator.

Many big, successful companies know this. They know that, in addition to the facts, their websites and brochures must radiate the right feeling. They know their customers can tell immediately if they’re sincere about service, or if they’re just mouthing the words.

Your products may be deeply technical, but capturing the right feeling will set you apart from your fact-spouting competitors.

Remember the dot-com days, when companies tried to impress clients with hard-to-understand technical terms? God help the company that tries that today! Nowadays, it’s crucial to weed your messaging of any whisper of contractiveness – of “me” focus. Today’s buyers can tell in a heartbeat if your company’s website and marketing docs are trying to impress them, or if you’re actually on their side.

(To see how big, successful companies talk to their customers, read my articles, “Plain English of the Rich and Famous” and “Plain Talk on the Web“)

It’s very unlikely that your company is self-absorbed, pretentious, or unenthusiastic. Yet there are a number of fatal flubs that can make your messaging seem so.

For example, a simple lack of clarity is a huge mistake, particularly today, when the tiniest differentiators loom large. The danger is that your potential clients may perceive unclear messaging as self-absorbed. They’ll think: “If you don’t care enough to make your website speak clearly, how much energy can I trust you to expend toward filling my needs?”

It’s also why your site’s design should be crystal-clear. You may have a wonderful message, but if it’s buried in aggravating, hard-to-read small type, in a squint-inducing gray, sans-serif font, visitors are likely to feel that you either aren’t aware of how hard they must fight to understand your message (hmm, are you habitually careless and unaware?) -  or, worse, that you’re too proud and self-absorbed to care.

Again, trying to impress buyers by bombarding them with technology is another big mistake. You can no longer expect technology to sell your services – that kind of thinking is a relic of the dot-com-daze. The danger is that your potential clients may think: “You’re overloading my brain with words. Ouch! C’mon, we both understand this stuff. Please talk to me as a human being, and tell me how you can solve my problem. I want to feel the person behind the words.”

In today’s economy, these little things can easily make or break the deal.

And they all boil down to the quality of energy that your documents project – the feeling.

It really is quite simple. Expansive communications are clear, direct, and friendly. They speak with the voice of world-class understanding of relationships.

Here’s another quick story.

When I was in college, my mother worked for a very successful Los Angeles company called California Typewriter Exchange. (Yes, I’m that old!) The firm’s top salesman, Al Silverberg, had a two-inch binder crammed with glowing customer testimonials for his excellent service. What set Al apart wasn’t that he offered good pricing and service. It was that he treated people as he would expect to be treated himself – even if, as occasionally happened, he lost a few dollars on the deal. It really wasn’t complicated: Al made everyone feel that he cared, because, in fact, he did care. And, he knew how to let others feel it.

Today’s economy is about “relationship marketing.” That is, it’s about creating win-win situations between people.  More than ever, your clients want to feel that you’re on their side – as a trusted supplier, but also as a friend and ally. And every piece of your marketing needs to communicate this attitude, from the first lines of your website, to the last paragraph of your brochure.

How Can I Help? I’ve been helping companies put their best face forward for 37 years. If your docs need tweaking for expansive energy and a cordial, friendly, objective tone, I can help.

Give me a call: (650) 209-8017 or email me. Consultations are free. And I’m happy to deliver a no-obligation sample edit up front. My rates are reasonable. I’m on your side.

George Beinhorn
WriteRemedy
240 Monroe Drive #514
Mountain View, CA 94040
(650) 209-8017 (Sample article)
email

What makes great Web copy?

It isn’t terribly difficult to sharpen your ear for good copy. You can begin by observing your own reactions as you read your own and your competitors’ marketing materials.

Do you yearn to skip to the next paragraph? Are you reading each sentence twice? Bogging down is a sure sign of bad writing.

Any product, no matter how complex, can be explained simply and clearly. The Double Helix, James Watson’s famous book about his discovery, with Francis Crick, of the structure of DNA, remains in print more than 40 years after it was written. Although the subject is complex, the book still engages the reader, thanks to Watson and Crick’s remarkable energy and enthusiasm, and the clarity of Watson’s writing style. Your marketing materials can ring with a similar energy and clarity, regardless of the complexity of your products.

One of the best and most enjoyable sources of advice on good ad copy is David Ogilvy’s autobiography, Confessions of an Advertising Man (out of print but still widely available in libraries), followed by Ogilvy on Advertising. Also recommended is Gary Blake and Robert W. Bly’s Elements of Copywriting: The Essential Guide to Creating Copy That Gets the Results You Want.

If the language on your website should communicate clearly, what does this imply about the site’s design? Web usability studies prove that simple, clear designs work best. Three highly recommended Web usability guides are Roger Black’s Websites That Work, Steve Krug’s Don’t Make Me Think, and John Miller’s Nobody Reads Anything.

These sensible, interesting books will help you choose graphic designers who know what works. Krug’s chapter on home page design is worth the price of the book alone. Just don’t let the usability experts blind you to the need for copy that sells. For a continually updated look at what your site’s copy should accomplish, see the excellent columns at ClickZ.com.

Should you try to write your own copy? If you can spend years learning by failing–sure, why not? On the other hand, don’t be surprised if you end up tossing your own efforts. The best copywriters spend decades honing their craft. Learning to write simple English is a difficult, open-ended process, like learning to sink three-pointers in the NBA finals.

When it comes to hiring a copywriter, look for Michael Jordan attitudes: enthusiasm for the work rather than for impressing you; a track record of satisfied clients; and, above all, deep interest in the product. Ready wit, combined with clear verbal expression, may be a tip-off to talent, but not always–the best copywriters are, surprisingly often, verbally tongue-tied and socially shy.

Watch out for copywriters who rely too much on “intuition” and “creativity.” A copywriter whose work is firmly grounded in advertising research–the factors that affect people’s buying decisions–is more likely to deliver sales. Master copywriter Rosser Reeves of the Ted Bates Agency said, “Do you want fine writing? Do you want masterpieces? Or do you want to see the [expletive] sales curve start moving up?”

David Ogilvy sums up the qualities of great copywriters: obsessive curiosity about products, people, and advertising; a sense of humor; a habit of hard work; the ability to write interesting prose; and the ambition to write better campaigns than anyone has ever written.

If your product isn’t easy to explain, consider telling a story. Write a “scenario” that describes how the product fills a fictional company’s needs. David Ogilvy was fond of saying, “Nothing works like a demo”–a statement he illustrated with a TV commercial for a lawnmower. Watching the lawnmower do its job, we’re more likely to believe its makers’ claims.

You can even ask your clients to do the explaining for you–ask them how your product solves their problems, then tell their stories on the Web. Actual case studies and testimonials are among the very best marketing tools.

If your product closely resembles another company’s, says advertising exec Joel Raphaelson, you should emphasize what’s “positively good” about it. “Don’t try to imply that your product is better. Just say what’s good about your own product–and do a clearer, more honest, more informative job of saying it.”

And keep it simple. “Most campaigns are too complicated,” says Ogilvy. “They reflect a long list of objectives, and try to reconcile the divergent views of too many executives. By attempting to cover too many things, they achieve nothing.”

It’s seldom wise to start off talking about yourself: “Our company is…” Customers don’t care, straight out of the blocks, who you are. They want to know what you can do for them that your competitors can’t. Persuade them that your product will meet their needs faster, better, and cheaper. Then reassure them that your company is a really big deal.

Avoid too many abstractions. Words that end in “-tion” are a tipoff. Here’s a sentence from a Silicon Valley 150 company’s home page:

“Equipment manufacturers and service providers use [the company's] systems for the design, integration, installation and acceptance testing of a broad range of digital telecommunications equipment and services.”

It’s not awful–but our brains burn fewer calories reading: “Equipment manufacturers and service providers use [the company's] systems to design, integrate, install, and test a broad range of digital telecommunications equipment and services.” Abstractions create a dulled-down, impersonal effect.

Here’s another example, a home-page snorer that’s disguised to protect the guilty. See if you’re still awake at the end of the paragraph:

“Acme, Inc. is a consulting firm specializing in widget application engineering, equipment specification and selection, implementation support, and project management. Our focus is on executing short- to long-term widgetization plans with our clients, for phased implementation, production, and enhanced volume potential.”

They could have said:

“Let Acme solve your widget production challenges. With our deep expertise, we’ll have you sailing safely through phased implementation plans that will raise you to the next production level. Acme’s technicians are the industry’s leading experts, with unmatched experience in specifying, selecting, and installing hardware, including large-scale projects.”

As a general rule, hardware is easier to write about than software. Thus, Asanté Technologies has little trouble touting the benefits of its broadband routers: “Start sharing your high-speed Internet connections with an Asanté FriendlyNET router. Our newest FriendlyNET Cable/DSL Routers are ideal for securely sharing your broadband modem.”

These are the lessons we can all learn from the copywriting giants: keep it simple, keep it light, and show the client that you’re on his or her side.

• Tech companies (HP, NASA/Lockheed, Adobe, Citrix, etc.)
• Other businesses. I’ve written or edited websites, business plans, whitepapers, datasheets, case studies, books, manuals, blogs, ads, etc. I’ve also managed newsletter production, from content development to mailing.
• PhD and MS candidates in computer science and engineering at Stanford, UC Berkeley, University of Michigan, University of Illinois, University of Pittsburgh, Carnegie Mellon, etc.
• Academic faculty. I’ve edited articles and course readers for seven professors in engineering at Stanford University.
• Authors of nonfiction books (I edited seven books for global bestselling nature educator Joseph Cornell. I recently edited a book on the compassionate leadership styles of six highly successful Vietnamese American high-tech entrepreneurs.)
• Students submitting admissions essays for college, graduate school, MBA programs, law school, medical school, etc.
• Publishers – I’ve served as a staff editor at Runner’s World magazine, and associate editor at PC World and PC/Computing
• I’ve written more than 1000 published magazine and newspaper articles.

CALL TODAY. Consultations are free! (650) 209-8017. I look forward to discussing your project.

I’ve completed thousands of projects for satisfied clients since 1972. The following is a very partial list of companies and individuals I’ve helped in technology, general business, academia, and publishing.

(( TECHNOLOGY CLIENTS ))

CITRIX. The Citrix NetScaler family of products provide application security, load-balancing, and acceleration “boxes” to 200,000 customers, including top-tier companies such as Google and Microsoft. Edited thousands of pages of technical support materials for the NetScaler and other systems from the Citrix Application Delivery division.

ORTEGA INFOSYSTEMS, INC. A leading digital surveillance video systems integrator. Ortega’s 1400+ installations include Grand Central Station and Kennedy International Airport. Researched and wrote sales brochures.

HYDROFOILS INC. Manufacturer of high-speed hydrofoil emergency rescue craft and ferries. Wrote datasheet for SeaFoil emergency rescue vessel.

BEYOND SQL. Edited web copy for industry-leading benchmarking software.

TEKLEAP INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY SOLUTIONS. Edited brochure and website. TekLeap is a customer service-oriented networking and business analysis consultancy.

TM TECHNOLOGIES. Proofread and edited annual catalog. TM Tech offers tools and instruction for metalworking professionals, including top-line gas welding supplies, hand tools, and shaping machines for sheet metal fabrication, restoration, and repair. TM’s clients include Polaris, Honda Marine, Mercury Marine, GM Prototype, Ford Prototype, Harley Davidson, FMC, Delco Remy, Hughes Satellite, Boeing, Delta Airlines, B.F.G. Aerospace, Toyota Off-Road, Fed-Ex, UPS, Kodak Labs, and many others.

MERCURY, INC. (formerly Kintana, Inc.). Lead writer for re-branded website. Wrote and edited brochures, data sheets, white papers, executive summaries, and web copy. Kintana’s products accelerate application development for users of enterprise software applications from Oracle, Siebel, SAP, and PeopleSoft. Clients include Cisco Systems, Silicon Graphics, GE, and Corio.

TYPEPAD. Edited marketing materials. TypePad won the PC Magazine “Editor’s Choice” award for blog service providers.

TVHEAD.NET. Edited website. TvHead provides high-quality aggregated videogame content to cable and satellite TV networks.

GLOBALVR. Edited direct marketing letter for world’s leading manufacturer of PC-based coin-op video games.

SIEGEWORKS. Edited web copy for this leading provider of enterprise security solutions.

INTRESYS, INC. Edited marketing communications documents, including brochure and data sheets for major new product.

SWAT ENGINEERING – SHELL OIL PRODUCTS USA. Consulted on document-production technologies.

RECOGNITION SYSTEMS, INC. Wrote and edited copy for website, news releases, white papers, and data sheets. Recognition Systems is the leading supplier of biometric hand-recognition security devices worldwide. RSI’s clients include Lotus Development, General Electric, Bankers Trust, Lawrence Livermore Lab, U.S. Army, U.S. Navy, U.S. Department of Justice, Walt Disney, Westinghouse, and major universities.

WIDE AREA MANAGEMENT SERVICES. Wrote content for revised website. WAMS supplies network installation, configuration, and troubleshooting services for 20% of the high-tech companies on the Bay Area 150 list, including Cisco Systems, AT&T, Fujitsu Business Systems, Network Associates, Optical Networks, Santa Cruz Operations, Solectron, and Sun Microsystems. When network troubleshooters need help with their hardest problems, they call WAMS.

MONDOSOFT (SEARCHBUTTON). Wrote and edited copy for website FAQs and marketing and technology white papers. Searchbutton provides site-search and analytics for individuals, small business, and corporate websites.

TRISTREAM. Wrote marketing brochures, press releases, data sheets, web copy, and advertising copy. Tristream provides web application and UI design services for tech companies and financial institutions across the US.

PACIFIC ACCESS. Edited copy for corporate website. Pacific Access is a $100 million worldwide network and systems integration company, providing network and computing products and services to the telecommunications industry.

TREND TECHNOLOGIES. Wrote corporate marketing brochures, international sales brochures, and web copy. Trend is a manufacturing subcontractor for Dell Computers, Sun Microsystems, Sony Consumer Electronics, Hewlett-Packard, and Cisco Systems.

E-M-SOLUTIONS. Wrote corporate marketing brochure. E-M-Solutions is a manufacturing subcontractor for Apple, Sun Microsystems, Hewlett-Packard, and other major tech companies.

MELISSA RANDALL CONSULTING. Wrote product brochures and data sheets describing new enterprise software for the automobile industry. (Company name and product details withheld per NDA.)

(( GENERAL BUSINESS  CLIENTS ))

“YAN CAN COOK.” Helped write a business plan for a new venture by Martin Yan, host of over 3,000 “Yan Can Cook” programs on PBS, and the world’s best-known Chinese chef. Initiated a highly successful interview with Martin Yan to convey his high energy and passion for simple, nutritious cooking.

SOCIAL IMPRINTS. Edited a business plan for this inspiring San Francisco startup which hires high-functioning ex-offenders and recovering addicts to train for management positions. Founders Jeff Sheinbein and Kevin McCracken were voted America’s Most Promising Social Entrepreneurs 2011 by the readers of Business Week. The Social Imprints business plan was selected as one of 20 finalists (of 600 applicants) by Investors Circle, a venture capital group that focuses on socially responsible investments. Two Investors Circle VCs separately praised the clarity of the plan – which received funding.

NASA/AMES RESEARCH CENTER PLANNERS COLLABORATIVE. Researched and wrote scripts for live actors playing the parts of four icons of aviation history at the NASA/Ames Research Center’s annual “Flightpath” public celebration and exhibit. (The aviation pioneers were Wilbur Wright, Amelia Earhart, Neil Armstrong, and Yuri Gagarin.) Also wrote text for engraved plaques celebrating eight landmark individuals and events in aviation history. The Planners Collaborative is an independent design firm that supplies graphic design and video production services to NASA Ames Research Center at Moffett Field, Mountain View, California.

AODESIGN METHODS / HEWLETT PACKARD. Edited documents for Hewlett Packard’s high-end Halo immersive corporate teleconferencing system. AODesign is owned by Robert Arko and Aura Oslapas, former lead designers at IDEO, the world-renowed design firm founded by Stanford University professor David Kelley.

THE TIMES OF INDIA. Edited dozens of short articles for a column in the world’s third-largest-circulation daily newspaper. Authored an original article for the same column.

LABOR CONNECTION. Edited administrative materials. With more than twenty offices in California, Labor Connection has provided reliable temporary labor to industry since 1991.

ICON FINANCIAL SERVICES. ICon is the sixth-fastest-growing company in Silicon Valley, and one of the top 300 woman-owned businesses in the US. ICon provides tax compliance services for independent contractors and the companies who hire them. (Nature of work protected by NDA.)

BJORN EYEWEAR. Edited marketing materials for this top San Francisco eyewear boutique. The bjorn* brand encompasses an exclusive line of hundreds of Italian and French designer frames, plus custom optics and sunglasses.

BAKKEN CREATIVE CO. Wrote and edited copy for multiple-award-winning design agency. Bakken was one of the Bay Area’s 25 fastest-growing companies in 2005. (Project details withheld per nondisclosure.)

REDWOOD TRAILS. Edited web copy for this race management company specializing in long-distance running and other outdoor events in scenic areas.

SCHWEICHLER PRICE & PARTNERS, INC. Wrote and edited executive applicant review materials. Schweichler Price is one of the top 25 technology search firms in the U.S.

THE MCMURRY COMPANY. Industrial psychologists specializing in upper-management candidate evaluation, and corporate culture analysis for business investors. Copyedited reports and profiles.

DELAPLAINE CREATIVE. Lead editor for major website redesign. Delaplaine Creative, Inc. is one of the nation’s best-known multimedia production companies, with a client list that includes Microsoft, Mercedes, Lego, Disney, MTV, Palm, Sony, IBM, Samsung, Saab, Landor Associates, Blockbuster, Virgin, Seagate, FedEx, Xbox, Straw Hat Pizza, and Media 100.

DYSTRICK DESIGN. Edited web copy for a Dystrick client company.

BEYONDWORK.COM. Wrote brochures and cover letters for print and e-mail marketing campaigns, edited other sales materials. Beyondwork offers desktop PC-accessed discount shopping to employees of more than 1500 US corporations.

DANCETIME PUBLICATIONS. Helped publisher with formatting of complex bibliographies and source lists, copyedited text for dance history DVD, and rewrote narrative descriptions.

(( STUDENT CLIENTS ))

RANDY HUANG, PhD Edited doctoral dissertation, ‘Hardware-Assisted Fast Routing for Runtime Reconfigurable Computing,’ in the Dept. of Electrical Engineering and Computer Science at UC Berkeley.

CHEN CHANG, PhD Edited doctoral dissertation, ‘Design and Applications of a Reconfigurable Computing System for High Performance Digital Signal Processing,’ in the Dept. of Electrical Engineering and Computer Science at UC Berkeley.

YOUNG GON KIM. Edited MBA program application essays.

BRENT DAUGHERTY. Edited MBA program application essays.

HYERAN PARK. Edited master’s thesis, ‘Home Language Socialization in the Bay Area Korean Community,’ in the Dept. of Sociology, San Jose State University.

MARC SCHINDLER. Edited thesis, ‘Efficiency Analysis and Improvement Project of the SAP Netweaver Development Unit Palo Alto,’ for Diploma in Business Engineering, University of Applied Sciences, Mannheim, Germany.

GANESH RANGANATHAN. Edited MBA program application essays.

(( ACADEMIC FACULTY ))

STANFORD UNIVERSITY, MECHANICAL ENGINEERING DEPARTMENT. Full-charge production of departmental newsletter (ME News), including author contact, articles editing, design, layout, photography, and management of print production and mailing services. Edited articles authored by the following Stanford faculty: Professors Ron Hansen (former department chair), Fritz Prinz (present chair), Eric Darve, Chris Edwards, David Kelley (founder/president, IDEO, Inc.), Larry Leifer, Adrian Lew, Parviz Moin, Guenter Niemeyer, Heinz Pietsch, Beth Pruitt, and Sherry Sheppard. Also managed departmental website.

PACIFIC GRADUATE SCHOOL OF PSYCHOLOGY. (New name as of 2009: Palo Alto University.) Compiled and edited an oral history of the school based on interviews with the president, faculty, a board member, and an alumnus. PGSP is the nation’s highest-rated independent graduate school of psychology, granting the PsyD in a consortium with the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences of Stanford University School of Medicine.

STANFORD UNIVERSITY, PROF. MARC THEEUWES. Edited a book-length 400-page reader for Prof. Theeuwes’s innovative ME233 course, “Crossing the Gap” (from product design to manufacturing).

(( AUTHORS ))

I’ve edited nearly 100 nonfiction books, including:

NORM POND, author, The Tube Guys. Norm Pond is the founder and CEO of Intevac, Inc. and former CEO of Varian, Inc. (CTI). The Tube Guys presents the personal stories and technical innovations of the developers of the microwave tube industry, starting with the invention of radio. (Privately published for distribution to the industry.)

MICHAEL KEEFE, author, Riding the Waves. Michael Keefe is the president and CEO of Dentalmetrix, a leading dental practice management consulting company. Riding the Waves advises dental practice owners on acquiring and efficiently using new dental and practice management technologies.

JOSEPH CORNELL, DEAN OTTATI, DAVID STEINMETZ, CHERYL AND EMERSON MARTLAGE, and many others. (See Testimonials.)

Thanks again for your great work. You’re a dream to work with. Please feel free to use me as a reference going forward (but only when we don’t need you ourselves). – Sylvia Ahern, PhD, Director of Communications, Kintana (now Mercury Interactive, Inc.), Milpitas, CA

Thanks for doing a great job in record time and over the weekend. — D.S. (name of client and company withheld per non-disclosure)

You’ve done a great job. Thank you very much. Nice incorporation of all information. — Christopher Kranyak, Hydrofoils Incorporated

I like your writing style–it’s clear and straightforward, exactly what we’re after. – Bill Spence, Vice President, Recognition Systems, Inc

Thanks for all the great work. – Jim Kilmurray, Director of Business Development, Intresys

You have done an outstanding job editing our 80-page business plan. Thank you very much. I am impressed with the quality of your work. You perform professionally, in a time-efficient manner. – E. Wang, PhD, CEO (major technology startup, company name withheld per non-disclosure)

Thanks for your work — it looks very good. – Ron Dabbagh, International Marketing Director, Kintana (now Mercury); CEO, MarketRemedy

Thank you for your great work. I’m impressed. You are good!! – Jaime Martinez, TekLeap Information Technology Solutions, San Francisco

I really like what I see both in content and quality. The catalog is a masterwork! I’m an English guy, and I have found no errors… amazing! – T. G., customer, TM Technologies (I edited and proofread the 2011 TM Technologies catalog.)

In my opinion, your skills as a writer draw a concise and accurate mind’s eye vision of what I have been busting my tail on for almost two years. That written vision to me is almost as tangible as the floor I am standing on. This is extremely valuable at this stage of our development. – J. R., CEO (name withheld per non-disclosure)

Thanks again. I enjoy reading your work. It’s right on target with what I’m looking for. – Pat Rodimer, Director of Communications, Beyondwork.com

Great work you’ve done! — Andy Chang, HotTorrent

(( General Business ))

Thank you for the quick turnaround. I am very pleased with the work done, so let me know if you need any references. I would be glad to help. – Bjorn Tuvesson, President, Bjorn Eyewear

A really excellent job. You’re a very skilled and able writer. – Allen Calvin, PhD, President, Pacific Graduate School of Psychology

You are a miracle worker! Many thanks! – Julia Andrick, Marketing Manager, The Brown Schools and CEDU Schools, Inc.

Thanks! Truly you did a great job. – Jacqueline Nguyen, Real Estate agent

People love the business plan. You did great work, and I appreciate it. – Jeff Sheinbein, Print Something Back

I wanted to touch base with you and thank you for the work you have done. Great work. – Patricia Griffin, CEO, ICon Financial Services

Again, great work! You are a great writer – exactly what I was hoping for. Looking forward to working together on a bunch of projects. Also, thanks for the speedy turnaround. – Jason LaBarbera, Vice President, Schweichler Price & Partners, Inc.

It looks great! I have a lot of respect for your style of writing as does everyone who reads your content. – Ken Lum, President, Safewireless

Thanks so much.  Nice work.  I will have more work in the future. – Lisa Romano, Batna

We really liked what you did with the presentation. – John Bou, Kinnection

Great job on the Santa Barbara Channel Islands running adventure trip description! It sold out in a week! We sold 34 spaces, where we’d anticipated just 28. — Eric Gould, President, Redwood Trails

Thanks for doing such a great job! – Nan Wieser, Delaplaine Creative, Inc.

Thanks for all your assistance with the many projects. Your cheerful attitude and willingness make my day much easier. — Gail Stein, Manager, Department of Mechanical Engineering, Stanford University

(( PhD, MA/MS thesis authors, MBA/graduate school applicants ))

Thanks for the wonderful job you did on my thesis. — Chen Chang, PhD candidate, UC Berkeley, Department of Electrical Engineering and Computer Science

Wanted to send you my deepest and most sincere thank you for a job well done. I was the first person in the Graduate School of Education at Cal Berkeley to have his thesis signed off this year. Your work was excellent, and I sincerely hope to use you again when I write “The Secret Life of Teachers.” — Cheers, Dave Samson (MA candidate, UC Berkeley, School of Education)

You have been a great help — I believe I’ve improved my English writing style by imitating yours. — Young Gon Kim, MBA program applicant

All the essays look great. Thanks for all your hard work. These are really coming together nicely. — Brent Daugherty, MBA program applicant

I like your response and professionalism. I will keep your contact handy and use your services for future projects and recommend you to my friends and clients who may need writing help. — Ganesh Ranganathan, MBA program applicant

(( Authors of Nonfiction Books ))

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Featured Articles:

• Plain English of the Rich and Famous: The websites of the world’s most successful companies speak a kinder, gentler marketing language. I wrote this article to help my clients understand how the world’s most profitable companies communicate with their customers.
• See also: Plain Talk on the Web: What Makes Great Web Copy?.
• And Secrets of Success in a Contractive Economy (NEW).

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• Print Something Back (PDF, 330k). This business plan by Jeff Sheinbein was praised by two San Francisco Investors Circle VCs as the clearest they’d ever seen.

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• Mi5 Networks client: Hagerman.
• Mi5 Networks client: Anadigics.
• Mi5 Networks client: Eloan.

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Datasheet:

• Recognition Systems, Inc. HandNet security system software.

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• ME News, annual newsletter of the Mechanical Engineering Department at Stanford University. Spring 2003 newsletter (PDF, 209k) I managed all phases of newsletter production: editorial, graphic design, printing, and mailing.

Press Release:

• Recognition Systems news release. Hand-recognition security units installation at Lotus Development childcare center.

White Papers:

• What is Conficker? Article by Laura Richardson for clients of San Francisco-based IT firm Uptime Resources.
• How Good Is the Quality of Your Backup Systems? Article by Laura Richardson for clients of San Francisco-based IT firm Uptime Resources.
• BeyondWork backgrounder.
  Managing PeopleSoft Applications.

Book Chapters:

• The Runner and The Path, by Dean Ottati
• Time to Partner, by Cheryl and Emerson Martlage

Articles:

• High School Shooters: The Message They Bring. Published in Mothering, September 2000.
• The Simple Joy of Sports. Chapter 2 of my book, Fitness Intuition: The Wisdom of the Heart in Exercise and Sports Training.
• The Human Brain: Wired for Values? A sample article for clients who want to evaluate my skills in the areas of research and medical terminology.

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The websites of the world’s most successful companies speak a kinder, gentler marketing language.

Pity the poor business manager who Googles for a simple customer-service application, and, yo, finds hit numero uno:

“Acme CRM empowers the enterprise to envision a barrier-free portal to B2B engagement for SME core-business services…”

What the…? Right, and, although the example is fictitious, it really isn’t all that uncommon. In fact, not a few survivors of the dot-com daze have yet to learn its most basic lesson: when companies become overly engaged with themselves, it means they aren’t paying sufficient attention to the customer at the door. Click…

On the other hand, visit the websites of many of the companies on the Silicon Valley 150, Fortune Global 500, and Fortune e-50 lists, and you’ll find them talking the same simple, cordial, plainspoken language that Macy’s has been using in its advertising for 150 years:

“Use your Macy’s card to take an extra 10% off today. That’s EXTRA savings on sale prices. That’s EXTRA savings on clearance prices. That’s EXTRA savings each time you use the card.”

Compare Macy’s just-folks copy with this clip from the home page of MCI WorldCom, a top-10 communications company on the Fortune e-50:

“Great Rates! 200 minutes of calling for $9.95. Click here! Big Savings for Your Small Business! Sign up today!”

Here’s a unique new product at a great price! Here’s why it’s the best! We back it with A+ customer service! What could be more persuasive?

Old, established companies aren’t afraid of simple language. Newer companies often are. Ask yourself: would you rather do business with someone who tries to impress you, or a person who wants to make an honest living by serving simply and sincerely.

Plain language is one way to tell the customer that you’re on his side. Impressive language, on the other hand, may tell him that you’re self-involved, insecure, and not terribly interested in his welfare.

A commercial for an IBM desktop systems several years ago nailed home its sales points by spoofing TV infomercials. Using a humorously hyped presentation, complete with blatant repetition and a final breathless “Call now!” it presented crystal-clear selling points of price and features.

The point is, there’s nothing unintelligent or unsophisticated about talking to your customers in plain English. If you want to impress your customers, put a picture of your Lexus on the home page, but if you want to sell goods and services, keep it plain and simple.

Admittedly, some tech products may be hard to explain, and it’s unfair to expect your copywriters to describe them as clearly as consumer goods. Yet, any tech product can be described in readable language, with the caveat that industry-standard terminology may be required.

As advertising genius David Ogilvy put it, “If you think the product too dull, I have news for you: there are no dull products, only dull writers.” Ineffectual web language usually reflects flawed thinking rather than poor language skills–when, for example, the company chooses a self-congratulatory monologue for its home page, or feels that it will be taken more seriously if it talks to its customers in the important-sounding language of the latest Internet marketing fad.

Makers of one-of-a-kind, high-demand, or just plain excellent products may succeed despite the labyrinthine verbiage of their advertising. But their successes don’t prove that better writing wouldn’t boost their sales. In the Internet economy particularly, where decisions may be made in milliseconds, it’s important to seize every chance to influence customers in your favor.

On the Web, little things count. John Caples, a legendary direct marketing copywriter, once researched two similar print ads for the same product and discovered that one ad was pulling nineteen and a half times as many sales as the other. The difference? A slight change in the wording, with greater emphasis on the buyer’s needs. Careful language and service attitudes are even more important on the Web.

Home Pages of the Extremely Successful

You can tell a lot about a company from the first words out of its mouth. What a company says on its home page generally reflects how much it cares about its customers.

The examples of good Web writing that follow were culled from the sites of the top fifty companies on the Fortune Global 500, Fortune e-50, and Silicon Valley 150 lists.Financial and consumer product and service companies are included, since those sectors set the standard for plain talk.

The websites of the world’s richest companies fall broadly in three categories: 1. sites that use simple, clear language; 2. sites that communicate the right ideas, but not very clearly; and 3. sites that are clogged with jargon.

The sites in the first category vastly outnumber the others, thank heaven, and in many instances they’re a delight to read. In each case, the sample copy was clipped from the lead text on the home page. For Hitachi, Cisco Systems, and other companies with pure-links home pages, the samples were taken from a secondary page.

Successful companies aren’t immune to vacuous jargon–”the power of now,” “total business integration,” “automating and integrating business processes between enterprises,” etc. And when we reviewed it, the home page of a top-ten Global 500 company contained no fewer than four glaring grammar and style gaffes. (They were swiftly corrected, however.)

Listen to the top tech and e-business firms as they talk to their customers. The biggest lesson to be learned from the Fortune and Silicon Valley websites? When sales droop despite your carefully crafted TLAs (three-letter acronyms), try a little TLC instead.

The Sites

Applied Materials. “Applied Materials introduces its first Atomic Layer Deposition chamber used to deposit thin, conformal high purity films at low thermal budgets.”

Apple Computer. “Introducing the new Power Mac G4. At speeds of up to 11.8 gigaflops, it’s the fastest Power Mac G4 ever. The new Power Mac G4 puts tremendous creative resources at your fingertips with the revolutionary Super Drive (DVD-R/CD-RW) and Apple’s award-winning digital video editing and DVD authoring software.”

Amazon.Com. “Hello. Sign in to get personalized recommendations. New customer? Start here. New Lower Prices! Save 30% or more on books over $20 unless clearly marked otherwise. Your website can make you money. How? We’ll pay you if your visitors shop with us. Become an Amazon.com Associate today!”

AT&T. “Create, manage and distribute text, audio, and video to millions of users simultaneously. Web Broadcasting can do it for you.”

Charles Schwab. “Why choose Schwab? Get an overview of what Schwab can offer you. Act now: select the account that’s right for you. New — StreetSmartPro trading software: Serious traders can now get as much real-time data as they can handle–plus an offer of 10 commission-free equity trades. Test drive it now.”

Cisco Systems. Pure links home page. First copy in corporate description: “Cisco end-to-end enterprise network solutions form the most comprehensive line of networking products available in the industry. From the branch office to the WAN and campus backbone, Cisco products are the leading choice of the enterprise.”

Dell. “Servers & Storage: Engineered for high performance, maximum uptime, serviceability, and ease of management. Notebooks & Desktops: Harnessing the power of emerging technology for top performance, serious multitasking & high productivity. Networking: From switches and routers to firewalls, Dell provides the building blocks for LAN/WAN connectivity.”

eBay. “Welcome New Users. Take to the open road. Drive the car of your dreams. Enter to win a 1961 Corvette Convertible.”

EarthLink Network. “Welcome to EarthLink. ‘What service can we provide for you?’ For the Home: Dial-up access, broadband, or wireless. How do you want to Get LinkedK?”

Healtheon. From Healtheon’s WebMD site: “Women, Follow Your Heart. A woman’s heart attack symptoms often differ from those of men. Here’s how to recognize them–and what you need to know to stay heart-healthy.”

IBM. “Celebrate! The 20th anniversary of the IBM PC with a NetVista desktop for $799 ( U.S. only)”

Intel. “Delivering the Best Mobile Experience. With speeds up to 1.13GHz, the Mobile Intel7 Pentium7 III Processor-M delivers high performance while using less battery power for businesses and consumers.”

Microsoft. “Microsoft Certified Professional Systems Engineer. Earn your stripes. Validate your skills and expertise on Windows 2000 and save 25% on exams.” Also: “Get started with .NET security with this overview of the Microsoft .NET Framework.”

Lucent Technologies. “What will it take to make the all-optical network a reality? Lucent is building the all-optical future today.”

MCI WorldCom. “Great Rates! 200 minutes of calling for $9.95. Click here! And: Big Savings for Your Small Business! Sign up today!”

Network Appliance. “Network Appliance creates specialized products that excel in the storage, management, and delivery of data and content on demand. Our Center-to-EdgeJ solutions work within existing infrastructures to simplify data management and improve network performance.”

Oracle. “Eliminate the cost of downtime with Oracle9i. Thinking availability? Get your free think9i Availability e-kit today. Nine questions IBM doesn’t want you to ask about high availability.”

Siebel Systems. “Learn how a comprehensive eBusiness solution can increase customer satisfaction and the bottom line.”

Sun Microsystems. “Sun and Hitachi join forces to bring customers a better choice than the Expensive, Monolithic, Closed storage systems of yesterday.”

Qwest Communications. “Ride the light. Qwest Security Solutions: Managed Firewall as low as $599 per month.”

3Com. Pure links home page. From the Wireless & Mobility Solutions page: “Go where life takes you. Stay informed and productive with or without wires. It’s simple with 3Com.” From the Mobile Professional page: “The world is your office. Fortunately, 3Com mobile solutions keep you informed and in touch from hotels, airports, client sites, and remote offices–without thinking about it.”

George Beinhorn is a marketing copywriter in Silicon Valley .